In relation to my previous blog I just read this:
Originally Posted by Anxiety girl (two days ago)
Question: I agree that I have to take it at a pace I can handle (small steps), but what's a small step? I always seems (without intention!) take steps to for too big (talking about it too much, sharing it with a friend, trying too hard, constantly observing myself and therefore becoming selfabsorbed and very unhappy). And then I fail, and failure feels like: again it went wrong, you will never get it right, and you'll never be happy again.
The way I feel it:I'm destroying my own life, and I do that totally by myself. It's not getting better;it's getting worse!I was so happy about that new strategy, but see: I screwed it up; again...
A severe stressed and sad a-girl...
Answer on the forum I placed this message:
" Anything you do systematically is a small step. From planning to do something and doing it, to the actual managing of a reaction when it comes up.
I understand what you mean with taking big steps, its natural reaction.
Its a natural to do what we know we can do or used to doing, and automatically go for it. Which there's nothing wrong with that, but if we keep doing it on repeat and it offers no solution then it keeps us trapped. That's why its good to break it down.
That's why what you posted before is good and can be considered steps. Even if it didn't work like you wanted, you're still making a mental gain. And over a time as you keep doing it (I doubt it will take long) it will work and be effective because you'll notice a pattern.
As for planning, saying 'ok I'm going to do this at this hour or day (light exercise or something) because it will help me notice things later' is a step. Doing it and making sure the activity itself isn't too crazy is also a step. When you take it in simple steps you remember it better, and its not a big burden and so you'll feel like doing it more.
And in terms of talking about it with friends I don't think that's bad. Can help. But If there's no one around you you feel you can talk to then there's always the therapist for that at least.
Just don't let things unmotivate you too much if something didn't go as planned. Persistance is key. When you think of it, nothing good ever came without having to work for it. Also if you feel the problem is your own doing, then you definitely have the power to pick yourself back up again."
Thank you so much :)). You're absolutely right about the mental gain. And that it doesn't take long. You just don't realize it when you're in the middle of an anxiety attack. Today I totally flipped; no: the point is: I anticipated I would totally flip BUT: I didnt'! An enormous calm came over me. Now that's an new experience for me! The mind works in mysterious ways :).