Dear reader,
This blog is meant to nourish, comfort and inspire you with pictures, links, stories, humour, and a whole lot more.
Feel free to e-mail me for a private talk about whatever appeals to you.
If you want to know for what reason I started this blog, and how I turned my anxiety into energy, read my first blog about it
(last link under july 2013 on the right). To infinity and...... beyond! D)

Tuesday, 13 August 2013

What you see is what you get

Today was a day without fear. As almost everyday for the last months, a woke up early in the morning with an anxiety attack, but I wasn't scared! So there's a big difference between the two. And I could totally accept it this time. So the method I described earlier does help, but I had and have to find my own  "actions" to make myself as comfortable as possible during the attacks (instead of trying to take the anxiety away e.g. fighting - that never works because fighting has to do with real danger, and there IS no real danger). Btw it was quite an eye opener to me that when having an anxiety attack, the anxiety itself is never in the present. It is always about past or future. Food for thought...
Being able to cope with all this has certainly something to do with staying in contact with other people.
Yesterday I got two reactions on a forum where I described my bad sundaymood.
One person pointed out that the anticipation of trying may have triggered the panic attack(s)! He was so right. He also noticed that basically all techniques are the same and that I just had to keep on trying. I replied that I need to take little steps at a time. This is what happens: when I first read the strategy I thought: great, that's it, lets try that, and then I totally dedicate myself to it. In short: I try too hard and that's a recipe for failure. Relaxing... that's someting I really don't know how to do...
Exercise (or other physical movement) certainly helps, and I like swimming. But if my intentions are wrong (fight...) than it's not relaxing. Meditation (in my case so far) is mostly a bridge too far at the moment. I'm just too scared of my own thoughts. I do try mindfullness everyday 
The other person really helped me because of knowing from own experience the difference between anxiety and the fear for anxiety (attacks), and recognising what the result of a highly sensitive/empathic and energetic mind can be. It really moved me to tears to read that someone totally understood why I started this weblog (see first blog in july 2013). There are kindred spirits in this world. I'm not alone!
A friend of mine read my webblog and e-mailed me that she had a bad sunday too, despite the funny weblink she has sent me that day. She was just trying to make her life bearable. We totally agreed that facebook is so full of shit because of all the so called happy people pretending they are doing great, having fantastic careers, a lovely family and so on. Even when they feel totally crap.
Therefore I am continuing my blog without editing anything afterwards. What you see is what you get!

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